no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize