I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
