i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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