i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
