Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
