so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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