New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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