i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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