Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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