Buhtt sex?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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