i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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