I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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