i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
