i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
