i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
