Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
