Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
