any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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