Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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