Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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