I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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