her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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