Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
