wakey wakey hands off snakey
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
