I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
