My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Randomize
