It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
