I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I love having hate sex.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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