Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
