no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize