There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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