WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
