Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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