just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want nice things and good sex
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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