Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
