My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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