Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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