come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
