their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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