there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
