I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
