Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
