Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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