she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
