maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
