So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
