you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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