I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
