I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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