dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
