when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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