Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
