there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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