Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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