i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
